Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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