we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
