Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just crazy horny about you
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize