Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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