Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
