So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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