I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
