I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
