Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
