Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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