WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
