..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
