and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
