you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
