So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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