none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
