I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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