oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I woke up under a house in Key West
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
