hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize