mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Randomize
