just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
