Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We are two peas in an std pod
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
