I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
