All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
