dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
