brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
