Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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