i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
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I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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