I want to have your abortion
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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