Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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