a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Can you bring me the toilet please
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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