ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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