how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Michael Bay diarrhea
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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