I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Never underestimate the power of titties
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