she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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