I'm going to jail i love you
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
