Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
