another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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