VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
