Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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