it wasn't lemon gatorade
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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