I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I am mentally ready for anal.
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