it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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