Come see our sink grown plant.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
