I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I enjoy the company of your penis
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
