Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
