Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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