She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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