He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
