I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
