It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
