they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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