I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
