Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
