i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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