Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
