ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
