So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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