Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
