Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
