that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
