OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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