He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
